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Grand Master Gene Perceval
Martial Arts humor
Murphy's Second Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks.
Murphy's Third Law: Everything takes longer than you think it will.
"The wimp who made it through eliminations on luck/bye will suddenly turn into Bruce Lee when your up against him.
The referee will always be looking the other way when you score a point, and you will always get hit with a cheap shot when the ref is looking.
You will have trouble with the ties coming undone on your gi pants and falling when members of the opposite sex are in class.
The day you leave work early to make class on time, the instructor will be sick.
The instructor will only use you during demonstrations for joint-locking techniques.
If you have to use your training in self-defense, your attacker's father will be a lawyer.
After a flawless demonstration, you will trip on to your face on the way back to your seat.
After years of training without a single injury, you will pull a groin muscle the night before your black belt exam.
In an otherwise vacant locker room, the only other person will have the locker right next to yours.
No matter how many times you take care of it before your promotion exam, you will invariably have to go to the bathroom when it's your turn.
If you are sick and come to class anyway, you will end up coughing like you are about to die at least once.
The better you know someone, the more likely you are to get hurt by them or hurt them.
If you have a crush on someone of the opposite sex/gender in your class, you will injure them.
When you have to rush to the bathroom during class, your pants knot is too tight and won't come undone.
Girls/women.
When you are wearing the most embarrassing outfit ever out in public, your instructor will see you.
If you are a girl, and your hair is in a ponytail, you are very likely to have your hair pulled/yanked in your face.
If you have cramps that day, for sure, you will be sparring.
Enjoy.