Bullying

* The bully only understands a superior force or someone of authority.

* The bully tends to release their frustrations out on others.

* The bully will tease you, roughhouse with you, ridicule you, harass you, torment you, threaten you,and fight you.

* Bullying impacts one in five children in the USA. Ages 12 through 18.

* Students who are subject to bullying usually will have lower school scores then those who are not.

* Many students who are bullied, don't tell their parents. Parents should look for signs of theirchild's changing behavior.

* When the parent or guardian becomes involved in having bullying corrected, almost 60 % stopped thebullying.

* The sixth grade in school is the highest abuse of bullying.

* More than a third of people go on to develop social anxiety and depression as a direct result of bullying.

* Almost a quarter of those bullied have had at some point suicidal thoughts.

* 62 % stated that they were bullied by a class mate.

* 64 % of students who have been bullied, don't report it.

New research shows that most bullies actually have excellent self-esteem. Bullies usually have a sense of entitlement and superiority over others, and lack compassion, impulse control and social skills.

Most children who encounter bullying in one form or another will be treated unkindly or aggressively. This can be accepted as part of the growing up process. What cannot be accepted, is the continuous bullying of a child without corrective measures being taken to correct the problem by an adult while under the care and supervision of others, such as teachers.

In most cases, the bully comes from an abused home, or have been bullied themselves. Sometimes they are children that are just out of control or may have poor social skills. Bullying, becomes a release of their own frustration, and possibly the enjoyment of watching or experiencing others suffer as well.

There are certain rules and laws that you must follow if and when you're interacting with a bully.

* As a parent or guardian of your child that is being bullied, do not approach or seek out the bully at any time.Should the bully be pointed out to you or if you know him/her, maintain your distance, and above all, do nothave a conversation with the bully. You should follow correct procedures that will have farbetter results. There are several rules as a parent or guardian of a child that must be followed who is beingbullied.

* Above all, do not gesture, verbally threaten, touch, shove, or strike the bully.

* If you are approached by the bully while alone, no matter what he/she says, listen to what the/she has to sayword for word, and say nothing in response, even though temped to do so. If possible, you should record theirconversation without them knowing.

* If by chance the bully should approach you, you may find yourself as a parent or guardian being goaded bythe bully, and that situation may become escalated. This could be the bullies defensive tactic, knowing that ifyou touch, threaten, grab, strike, or anything else relating to such, unless you have a witness, you could findyourself in serious unwanted trouble.

* Threatening or endangering a minor can result in the parents of the bully pressing charges against you. Thebully is a child and most likely under age, as far as the law is concerned, you are an adult and should know better and have more control.

* In most cases, contacting the parents by phone or in person about the bully, may give little or no results, andthe parents may be defensive in behalf of their child, The bully may also reverse the situation that he/she is the victim and shifts part or all the blame on to your child. The bully, knowing or overhearingthat their parent became defensive in their behalf, may encourage the bully to continue being abusive and/or aggressive. Bullies sometimes are very clever, and play the part as being the victim.

Even if your child has not yet been bullied, you should have a talk with your child and inform them that if in the future they are bullied, that they must immediately inform you of the situation. A child being picked on daily or weekly without being attended to, can have an effect on your child's overall outlook as well as their emotional behavior.

* Your child has lost interest in playing with others.

* Not eating as usual, picking at the food.

* Your child's marks in school might start to decline.

*Your child may find excuses for not wanting to go to school. At this point, your child may already have fear ofthe bully.

*Noticing your child is losing interests in their favorite activities.

Be aware of your child's behavior; if you see they are not the same as usual, have a talk with them, sometimes it is difficult for a child to admit or express they are being bullied.

* Having body features such as: A large nose, ears, teeth, feet, being skinny, hefty or overweight, shorter, taller,smaller in stature, poor skin, blemishes, etc.

* Problems having a speech impediment, wearing glasses, being poor or rich, walking funny, going to the bathroom too much, clothes that don't fit in with the rest of the kids.

* Being of a different race, color, religion or ethnic background, different language or other things.

Not having many friends, selecting the wrong kind of friends, may be shy, may prefer to stay by themselves. Being younger than the rest.

The bully will take charge and control when he/she selects a victim, leaving the victim upset or hurt, and feeling that they may be the direct cause for being picked on.

If any of these reasons or similar reasons are why your child is being bullied, explain to your child it is not them: it is the bully that has the problem. These are typical everyday things that most kids experience. Most everybody is different in one way or another, it is the ones that stand out that are usually selected by the bully.

If you are a student or an adult, it is important that if a bully nudges you, pushes you, or shoves you onpurpose, do not react with any type of physical retaliation. If you physically react to the bully, the bully would be left with no choice but to save face in front of others and attempt to teach you a lesson. Once you retaliate with a physical attack, this becomes an indication you are willing to accept the bullies challenge which can easily accelerate into becoming a fist fight. Besides, the bully is mentally prepared to have an altercation with you,. You may be taken by surprise or not mentally prepared to fight.

You as an adult or the parent, and the bully lashes or attempt to lash out at you, protect yourself only in a defensive manner only. Do not attempt or indicate a striking position. And most of all, do not grab any part of the bullies garments or body parts.

I am going to present a situation to you the reader. In your neighborhood, you are either walking or driving your vehicle, you see two boys or girls, one is on top of the other punching the face of the kid on bottom and is bleeding. The kid on the bottom cannot protect themselves, what would you do?

* Not get involved?

* Yell at them to stop.

* Call the police, knowing it may be too late.

* Become involved and pull the top kid away.

* What would you do?

As a child victim of the bully, if he/she pushes or shoves you on to the ground, do not react or retaliate, if at all possible, get up and attempt to walk away while not leaving yourself vulnerable. Walking away is a sign that you do not want to have a confrontation with the bully. Maintain your composure and prevent from crying or showing any emotion. Asking the purpose for the push, leaves the bully to take charge. It is important that you show no signs of wanting or accepting a fight. Walking away leaves the bully left with only words, and by walking away shows the bully that you just took control of the situation. That may not always work all the time. Sometimes, if possible take it with a grain of salt and brush it off.

If the bully strikes, punches, or kicks, if at all possible, do not react with any type of attack. You can defend yourself, but do not follow through with any type of aggressive attack. Easier said than done though.

There are many mixed views on standing your ground and protecting your territory by fighting. These actions might convey to the bully that you are not easy pickings for the next time around. The other is to walk away and hoping the bully loses interest and moves on to find another easier pickings. Again, if there are friends with the bully, he/she will have to save face and challenge you.

Most of the time, the bully will not bother you if he/she is alone; the bully needs an audience of others for him/her to establish the pecking order of who's in control.

If your child needs any type of medical attention from a fight, keep records of any paper work and if visible take pictures. If your child gets a black eye, visible scars, bruises, scratches, swelling, etc. take pictures. Make use of the opportunity.

Once you retaliate with a physical attack, this becomes an indication you are willing to accept the bullies challenge and can easily accelerate into becoming a fist fight where one of you could sustain physical injuries.

If you are on the school property, even if the bully started the fight, by you returning an aggressive attack, you now have become part of the problem. The result, will be no matter how you plead, it will be an automatic suspension from school as well as the bully. Returning back to school, nothing would have been gained and the process may still continue by the bully.

Does it help by complaining to a person of authority when a bully or a group of bullies are bothering you or becoming physically aggressive help towards you? This is a tough question to answer because each situation is different in so many ways. By not complaining, you may be at risk of continuous on going bullying problems which may result in someone being hurt or injured. By complaining to a superior, bullies may think of you as a tattle tail and you might lose face in front of others. By being a victim and complaining to a person of authority, you are not only helping yourself, but if handled correctly, you may bring attention to the bullies problem and helping them simultaneously. Then again, by complaining, it could be another excuse for the bully to find fault.

Most problems with bullying happens on your way to school, at school, or on the way home from school. It is suggested that if at all possible, take your child to school just before the bell rings, leaving little time for any confrontation from the bully. For a child to be on a school bus with a bully or bullies, with the only adult being the bus driver this is not good security for your child's protection. It is suggested that once the bullying becomes physical and frequently where it reaches a point where your child is afraid to take the school bus, you as a parent should request a school bus matron to be present and supervise the kids. The driver of the school bus has the responsibility to make sure that your child and other children arrive at school or home safely. I Suggest that you tell your child to sit as close to the bus driver as possible. If the bully is on the bus with his/her friends, most likely they will want to sit in the rear of the bus as to have less attention brought to themselves.

As a parent or guardian, one of the best defenses you have against a bully, is documentation of each occurrence every time a bully starts with your child. When you feel things have gone far enough without improvement or showing signs of stopping, request a meeting with the person who is directly in charge of your child, such as your child's teacher or other school officials.

Date, time, location, who was involved, witnesses, what happened, explain in detail.